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WHY CONVERT?
(1) Judaism has sensible religious beliefs.
(2) Becoming Jewish allows the convert to share the faith of the partner.
(3) Becoming Jewish makes the family religiously united.
(4) Becoming Jewish will make it easier for children by giving them a clear religious identity.
Think about your own reasons. Remember conversion must be your own free choice, not done because of pressure, but out of a genuine desire to embrace Judaism.
*Learn as much as you can about Judaism. Some reading suggestions are included on this Web Site. Go to lectures, take introductory courses on Judaism which are offered by many colleges and Jewish congregations, and talk to some Jewish friends. Remember that Judaism has an important ethnic component. You are joining a people, not just a religion, and so need to learn about different aspects of Jewish culture and about Israel.
*See if Judaism's basic beliefs and practices make sense to you. Remember, though, that Judaism is a faith of good deeds, not forced creeds. There is more concern in Judaism that you act morally than that you have specific beliefs. All Jews share a passion to make the world a better place. It is difficult to provide a brief summary of basic Judaism. To get you started, though, here are some general Jewish beliefs that are widely held among Jews:
(1) Judaism introduced the world to the idea that God is one, not many, and is kind, loving, and personal. In Judaism you pray directly to God and can receive help, guidance, and understanding. You can pray on your own and with a prayer community in a Jewish congregation. Judaism accepts the idea of a covenant, or agreement, between God and the Jewish people.
(2) Judaism doesn't accept the idea that people are born evil. Rather, people have free will to choose between right and wrong.
(3) Judaism encourages religious freedom of thought. Judaism welcomes probing spiritual questions.
(4) Judaism has, for 4000 years, emphasized a strong sense of family and the value of a close community.
* Experience Judaism as it is lived. Visit a Jewish congregation to sample a service or attend a Jewish ceremony, such as a Passover seder or a Sabbath meal. While ritual practices vary greatly among American Jews, all Jews have some rituals that, for example, celebrate the Jewish holidays and the Jewish family. If different sorts of Jewish institutions are near you such as a Jewish bookstore, museum, YM-YWHA, community center, and so on, try to visit them.
*Talk about your thoughts and feelings with your partner, your friends, and your family. It is important, for example, to discuss your feelings openly. It is common to experience some moments of doubt or fear of the unknown. It is also vital that you stay in touch with your birth family. Converting to Judaism does not mean you are abandoning your family, your friends, or your fond memories of past family life. When discussing conversion with your family, explain your reasons to them directly and tell them of your continuing love. Most families are supportive, often to the surprise of the person converting. Some families, however, do need reassurance and to have their questions answered patiently. There are also, sadly, some families, who see the conversion as an abandonment.
* At some point in learning about Judaism, preferably as early as possible but especially as you get more serious about actually becoming Jewish, you should talk to a rabbi. As you study and learn about Judaism, you will read about different religious movements within Judaism. There are rabbis for each of these movements, so it is important to study and understand the differences among the various branches. For example, the Orthodox movement does not generally recognize conversions performed by non-Orthodox rabbis. Additionally, different movements may have different conversion requirements. Here are some typical steps to take in order to convert to Judaism:
--Find a rabbi. Some traditional rabbis may actively discourage potential converts by turning them away three times. This is a test of how sincere the would-be convert is in wishing to become Jewish. Other rabbis are more welcoming right from the initial contact.
--After finding a rabbi, there is a period of study to learn such matters as Jewish beliefs, rituals, and prayers. This study might involve working directly with a rabbi or study in a conversion or introduction to Judaism class.
--Orthodox and Conservative rabbis require a male candidate for conversion to have a circumcision (or a symbolic one, if a circumcision has already been performed). Reform Judaism does not require a circumcision.
--Orthodox, Conservative, and some Reform rabbis require all candidates for conversion to go to a ritual bath called a mikveh. The candidate is immersed in water and says some prayers.
--The candidate for conversion appears before a Bet Din, or religious court, consisting of three learned people to see that all the steps of the conversion process have been done properly.
--A Hebrew name is chosen. Sometimes there is a public ceremony celebrating the conversion.
In looking for a rabbi, you can, in addition to just asking around or looking in the phone book, contact your local Board of Rabbis, Jewish Federation, Jewish Community Council or Jewish Family Service for a suggestion. You can contact the various religious movements directly.
Conversion is a challenge, but almost all those who have gone through it describe it as exciting, as a time of real personal and spiritual growth and as a time of intensified feelings of love and closeness to family.
Now it is your time to consider. The Jewish community stands ready to welcome you. We need you, and we want you, if you freely wish to join us. We wish you well as you search for your path in life.
For further information, you might wish to read the following books:
Conversion to Judaism: A Guidebook, by Dr. Lawrence J. Epstein, (Jason Aronson Inc., 1994). This guidebook, by the author of this article, provides advice and information about becoming Jewish.
Choosing Judaism, by Lydia Kukoff (Hippocrene Books, 1981). This book, written by someone who converted to Judaism herself, discusses conversion from a Reform Jewish perspective.
Becoming a Jew, by Maurice Lamm (Jonathan David, 1991). Rabbi Lamm presents conversion from an Orthodox Jewish point of view.
Your People, My People: Finding Acceptance and Fulfillment as a Jews by Choice, by Lena Romanoff with Lisa Hostein (Jewish Publication Society, 1990). This is an easy-to-read guidebook written by a convert for other converts.
It All Begins With a Date: Jewish Concerns About Intermarriage, by Rabbi Alan Silverstein, Ph.D. (Jason Aronson Inc., 1995).
Preserving Jewishness in Your Family: After Intermarriage Has Occurred, by Rabbi Alan Silverstein, Ph.D. (Jason Aronson Inc., 1995). Rabbi Silverstein's two books about intermarriage are presented from the Conservative movement's point of view. The second volume especially has information about conversion.
There are many valuable Introductions to Judaism. For example:
The Book of Jewish Belief, by Louis Jacobs (Behrman House, 1984). Rabbi Jacobs clearly discusses the basic ideas of Jewish thought.
The Book of Jewish Practice, by Louis Jacobs (Behrman House, 1987). In this companion volume, Rabbi Jacobs describes many central Jewish religious practices.
1. CONSIDERING JUDAISM
The conversion process begins when a person considers the possibility of becoming Jewish. The reasons why people become Jewish are varied. Many are involved in a romantic relationship with someone Jewish and wish to unite the family religiously. Others are on a spiritual search and learn about Judaism through such means as reading, hearing a lecture, attending a Jewish religious ceremony, and so on. Whatever the motivation, the first step in considering conversion is to explore Judaism. This early exploration might include discussing the subject with friends and family, taking out books and videos on Judaism, or just thinking about whether conversion is the right choice.
2. FINDING A RABBI
If, after the initial consideration, a person wishes to explore conversion more fully, the next step is to find a rabbi. This part of the process can be difficult for several reasons. Obviously, individual rabbis differ. Some devote more time than others to conversion candidates. Some adhere to an ancient tradition of turning away a candidate three times to test the candidate's sincerity. In general, though, rabbis are extremely dedicated people who are both intelligent and religiously sensitive. They are Judaism's gatekeepers. They decide who can enter into Judaism. Given their central importance to a potential convert, it makes sense to visit several rabbis and several synagogues to look for a compatible match.
If you are looking for a rabbi, check with friends and family for advice. Contact a local board of rabbis or other Jewish group, or check a local telephone directory. You can also contact the movements directly. See the section "Getting More Information About Conversion to Judaism."
A second problem is that rabbis belong to different groupings or movements. The four major movements are Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, and Reform Judaism. It is important for potential candidates to understand the differences among these movement and choose which movement is right for them.
When a person does see a rabbi, the rabbi can authoritatively answer questions about conversion. If the person has already decided to convert, the rabbi will probably ask a series of questions about that decision. Such questions might include some of these:
Why do you want to convert?
What is your religious background?
What do you know about Judaism?
Do you know the differences between Judaism and your birth religion?
Were you pressured to convert?
Are you willing to spend the necessary time studying to become Jewish?
Are you willing to raise any children you might have as Jewish?
Have you discussed this decision with your family?
Do you have any questions about Judaism or conversion?
3. LEARNING JUDAISM
A decision has been made to study Judaism, and a rabbi has agreed to oversee that studying. A person might not yet be fully sure that a conversion is right, but the initial steps of exploration will continue. Even those who don't ultimately convert generally find that studying Judaism is both interesting and helpful in their making a final decision about conversion.
Converts study Judaism in a variety of ways. Some work directly with a rabbi, meeting regularly and fulfilling specific study assignments. Others attend formal Introduction to Judaism or conversion classes, often with their Jewish romantic partner. A typical course of study will include basic Jewish beliefs and religious practices, such as prayer services, the history of the Jewish people, the Jewish home, the Jewish holidays and life cycle, the Holocaust, and Israel, as well as other topics. The study of Hebrew is also included.
The period of study varies greatly. In general, the range is from six months to a year, although there are variations. Many Gentiles preparing to marry someone Jewish go through this process early so as to get married in a Jewish ceremony. A marriage between someone born Jewish and someone who becomes Jewish is a Jewish marriage, not an intermarriage. If this is a crucial issue, plan to begin study well before a wedding.
Usually during this study period, a rabbi will ask that the person begin practicing Judaism according to the understanding of the movement. This can be a worthwhile time to explore Judaism. For example, even if a person does not ultimately plan to keep kosher (observe Jewish ritual rules about food), it is valuable to explore the rules for keeping kosher during this period of study.
4. THE RELIGIOUS COURT
The Religious Court, or Bet Din, most often consists of three people, at least one of whom must be a rabbi. Often it consists of three rabbis. The Bet Din officially oversees the formal conversion. Individual rabbis will provide guidance about how the Bet Din works. Because it takes place after learning, one part of the appearance will be to determine the Jewish knowledge of the conversion candidate. There might, for example be a question about the meaning of the Jewish Sabbath or about the Jewish belief in one God. These questions are not meant to trap candidates. Obviously, candidates are nervous during such questioning, but in almost all cases the questions are simply meant to assess the sincerity of the candidate and to make sure the conversion was entered into freely. Often an oath of allegiance to the Jewish people is made.
5. CIRCUMCISION
The specific requirements for conversion and their order need to be discussed with a rabbi. One requirement for males who wish to be converted by an Orthodox or Conservative rabbi is circumcision, or brit milah. If a circumcision has already been performed, the Orthodox and Conservative movements require that a drop of blood be drawn as a symbolic circumcision. This ceremony is called Hatafat Dam Brit. The Reform and Reconstructionist movements generally do not require a circumcision as part of the conversion process.
6. IMMERSION
Orthodox and Conservative rabbis require both male and female conversion candidates to immerse themselves in a ritual bath called a mikveh. This ceremony is called tevillah. Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis do not require the use of a mikveh, but some highly recommend it. The mikveh can be any body of natural water, though the term usually refers to a specific pool that is built for the purposes of ritual purification. The equipment used varies according to the mikveh. The immersion ceremony usually starts with cleaning the body as by a shower. The person is covered and the covering removed as the person enters the warm mikveh waters, which are usually about four feet deep. (When the ceremony is done in a public place such as a lake the candidate wears a loose-fitting garment). Blessings are recited and the person goes bends into the water. According to traditional Jewish law, three male witnesses must be present, although this rule has been reinterpreted so that, in some movements, Jewish females can be witnesses. When there are male witnesses and the candidate is female, the witnesses wait outside the mikveh room and are told by a female attendant that the immersion has been completed and the blessings recited.
7. THE OFFERING
In ancient times, conversion candidates brought sacrifices or offerings to the Temple in Jerusalem. After the Temple was destroyed, this ceremony disappeared. Jewish law therefore does not require such an offering. However, some rabbis, especially among the Orthodox, mention it as an opportunity to engage in an act of donating money to the poor or another act of charity to make a symbolic offering. This step can voluntarily be added to the conversion process.
8. CHOOSING A NAME
Again, particular conversion processes will vary. Frequently, after a Bet Din and the signing of an oath, a Hebrew name is chosen. This is then followed by a visit to a mikveh. At any rate, at some point, you will be asked to pick a Hebrew name. Some male converts choose the Hebrew name Avraham as their new Hebrew first name and some female candidates choose Sarah or Ruth. Since the use of Hebrew names includes mention of the parents' Hebrew names, and the convert has no Jewish parents, it is common to add "ben Avraham Avinu," or son of Abraham, our Father. Therefore if a male chooses the Hebrew name Avraham, that male's full Hebrew name would be Avraham ben Avraham Avinu. For women, the addition is "bat Sarah Imenu," daughter of Sarah, our Mother. The naming ceremony includes a blessing.
9. THE PUBLIC CEREMONY
A public ceremony announcing the conversion is becoming more popular, especially among Reform Jews. This ceremony usually involves the convert standing in front of the congregation and giving a speech, most typically about the reasons for converting or the lessons learned through the conversion experience.
10. A SPECIAL CASE: THE CONVERSION OF MINORS
Minors can be converted. In families with a non-Jewish mother and a Jewish father, the child is considered Jewish by the Reform movement if the child is brought up engaging in public acts of identification with Judaism. Orthodox and Conservative Judaism, however, do not regard such a child as legally Jewish. Parents of such children can if they wish have their children converted in infancy because the process is quite simple. While some would consider this a surrender to pressure especially from the Orthodox and refuse to do it, others see it as a way to get recognition of the child's Jewishness by additional segments of the Jewish people. Reform rabbis often simply have a naming ceremony. Orthodox and Conservative rabbis require the mikveh for a female minor and a circumcision and mikveh for a male minor.
CONVERTING INFANTS AND CHILDREN TO JUDAISM: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
Parents may want to consider converting their infants or children to Judaism for a variety of reasons. Some Jewish parents are intermarried, and the Gentile spouse does not plan to become Jewish, but both parents agree that the single religion of Judaism will be in the child's best interest. Perhaps either a Gentile parent in an intermarriage or a couple made up of two Gentile parents decide to convert to Judaism, but their children were born before the conversion. Perhaps a Jewish couple adopts a Gentile child.
In all these cases, conversion to Judaism can be seen as a desirable option for the infants and minor children. A minor child in Jewish law means the child is under age 12 for a female and under age 13 for a male.
In the case of intermarriage, the child of a Jewish woman and her Gentile male spouse is universally recognized as Jewish, so that the conversion of the infant or child is unnecessary. A more delicate and difficult situation arises when the infant or child is born to a Jewish father and Gentile mother. The Orthodox and Conservative movements do not recognize such a child as legally Jewish, so that, in such cases, Orthodox and Conservative parents need to have their child legally converted to Judaism. Under the Reform movement's patrilineality principle, the child of a Jewish father and Gentile mother is presumed Jewish if the child is raised exclusively in Judaism and engages exclusively in public Jewish acts. The children, then, are legally Jewish. However, some of these Reform parents may voluntarily choose to have their children converted for various reasons, such as wider acceptance of the child's Jewishness by the non-Reform Jewish community.
Jewish parents in all movements need to convert adopted Gentile minors for the minors to be considered Jewish. The adoption itself, or even the raising of the children as Jewish, does not make the child Jewish.
The conversion of an infant or child has Jewish legal sanction. According to the Talmud (Ketubot 11a), it is permissible for a religious court (a bet din) to convert a gentile infant. The basis in Jewish law is that it is a privilege to be Jewish (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah, 268:7). Therefore, a minor can be converted even though not mature enough to understand the act because making the minor Jewish is performing a favor for that infant or child.
Jewish law also allows those people converted as an infant or child to renounce the conversion when they reach maturity. After girls reach 12 or boys 13, converted infants and children can legally reject the conversion and go back to their previous religion. If they accept Judaism or are silent, they are deemed to be considered adult converts.
One potential problem for parents seeking to convert minors is that not all movements accept conversions performed by rabbis in other movements. Thus, Orthodox rabbis, for example, do not, in general, accept conversions performed by non-Orthodox rabbis. Conservative rabbis, in general, accept all Orthodox conversions and all Reform conversions, if the Reform conversions conform to the Conservative legal requirements discussed below. Reform rabbis, in general, recognize all conversions performed by Orthodox and Conservative rabbis. Because of this confusing situation, parents ought to discuss their choice with their rabbi.
The conversion of a female infant or child according to Conservative and Orthodox practices only requires tevilah (immersion in a ritual bath called a mikveh). A male child also requires immersion in the mikveh. Prior to the immersion, the male must have a brit milah (a legal circumcision ceremony performed by a mohel). If possible, this should be done on the 8th day after the birth of the boy. If a circumcision has already been performed, a drop of blood needs to be drawn in a ceremony called hatafat dam brit. A Hebrew name can then be given to the child, though some wait to give the name until after the tevilah ceremony. There is usually a wait of a couple of weeks between the circumcision and the immersion.
A Bet Din, usually consisting of three rabbis, is convened for the immersion. Parents can enter the mikveh. If the children are old enough, they recite the needed prayers; if not a rabbi does so for them. After the tevilah ceremony is completed, and a name chosen if one has not already been selected, the child is declared by the Bet Din to be Jewish.
Reform requirements for the conversion of infants and children vary. Some rabbis may simply have a naming ceremony, while others will include some or all of the same requirements used by the Orthodox and Conservative rabbis.
For detailed explanation of all of these ceremonies, it is crucial to consult a rabbi.
The conversion of infants and children is, of course, a moment of joy for parents, but it is also such a moment for the entire Jewish community. New children add precious lives to the community and bring with them that most valuable idea of hope for the future.
When a proselyte comes to be converted, one receives him with an open hand so as to bring him under the wings of the Divine Presence." ...(Leviticus Rabbah 2:9).........."Dearer to God than all of the Israelites who stood at Mount Sinai is the convert. Had the Israelites not witnessed the lightning, thunder, and quaking mountain, and had they not heard the sounds of the shofar, they would not have accepted the Torah. But the convert, who did not see or hear any of these things, surrendered to God and accepted the yoke of heaven. Can anyone be dearer to God than such a person?"...Tanhuma (ed. Buber),Lekh Lekha 6:32..........
"Beloved are proselytes by God, for the Bible everywhere uses the same epithet of them as of Israel"...(Talmud, Gerim 4:3).........."Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried" ...
Ruth, a Moabite and the
great-grandmother of King David,
who chose to convert to Judaism.
(Ruth 1:16-17).........."You shall love the convert"...(Deuteronomy 10:19).........."You must understand the feelings of the convert."...(Exodus 23:9)..........Questions for Reflection
How does Judaism define God? What are your views of God?
What are the major functions of the synagogue? What is found in a synagogue (sanctuary)?
What are the different parts of the worship service? When and where are services held? In your opinion, what is the most important passage from the prayerbook? Why?
What are the basic beliefs of Judaism, and how do they differ from those of Christianity?
What is the major significance of the Sabbath? What are the major rituals and ceremonies practiced on Shabbat?
How do you plan to implement Shabbat into your own lifestyle.
How do you explain the phenomenon of anti-Semitism? What are some of the causes of anti-Semitism?
What is the historical significance of Israel? Of Jerusalem? of The Wall? How do you relate to Israel?
What are the major ingredients of a Jewish home? How will these be implemented in your own home?
Analyze, whether in your view, the Jews are a race, nation, religious group, or people.
Why is history so important to Jews and to Judaism? How has history affected Jewish life?
What do you feel are the important characteristics and actions of being a good Jew?
Describe the important life cycle and holiday celebrations in Jewish life. Do you see yourself integrating these celebrations into your own life?
Describe the different meanings of Torah in Judaism.
How many of the following terms do you know ?
1. Lulav & Etrog
13. Matzah
25. Haggadah
2. Shofar
14. Bar/Bat Mitzvah
26. Yizkor
3. Fasting on Yom Kippur
15. Havdalah
27. Reform Judaism
4. Tisha B'Av
16. Mezuzah
28. Mitzvah
5. Megillah
17. Talmud
29. Yahrzeit
6. Sukkah
18. Simchat-Torah
30. Shehecheyanu
7. Shavuot
19. Kaddish
31. Kol Nidre
8. Seder
20. Ner Tamid
32. Challah
9. Brit Milah
21. Kiddush
33. Brachah
10. Halacha
22. Confirmation
34. Festival of Lights
11. Inquisition
23. Diaspora
35. Rosh Hashannah
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